Holidays and Mental Health: Blog Series Part 1

Managing Stress, Anxiety, and Depression During the Holidays.

By Jessica Anne Pressler LCSW

The holiday season can be joyful for many and, for others, a time of stress, depression, and anxiety.

According to the American Psychological Association, 38% of people say they are stressed during the holidays and only 8% say they feel happier. (APA December 18,2018) According to a Healthline survey; 65% of GenXers, 62% of baby boomers and 61% of millennials reportedstress during this time. Bottom line, holidays can be stressful. 

I believe there is so much pressure to feel and act elated that not feeling so makes it difficult to admit the truth and ask for help. You may feel shame or that something is wrong with you. You may not want to be “Debbie Downer.” You may believe that everyone around you is gleeful, but no one knows really knows what is going on inside another person. Please ask for help and talk about your feelings. Contact a professional if you do not want to share your feelings with someone you know.

There are many reasons why coping during the holidays may be difficult.

1. Financial pressure; Feeling pressure to overspend, such as when buying presents, clothing, going to or having parties, events, and meals or decorating the home.

2. Social pressure; Having to attend social events you are not comfortable attending. Or create the “perfect” dinner, party, event, present, and home. 

3. Feeling isolated; This year may be tough for some because of COVID. Although some workplaces, families, and friends have returned to “normal,” some have not, causing additional isolation, loneliness, and lack of community. While the world may appear back to normal for most on social media and media, that may not be true for everyone. A person may also feel pressure to attend a work holiday event and not be comfortable because of COVID.

4. Dysfunctional family events. 

5. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) (In next week’s blog, part 2, I will discuss in detail.)This is a form of depression that comes the same time each year and lasts for several months. The winter version usually comes late fall and lasts through the winter through Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, New Year’s Eve, and Valentine’s Day. Some symptoms are oversleeping, craving foods high in carbohydrates, weight gain, and low energy, and tiredness. 

6. Too much drinking

7. Overeating

8. Grieving (Blog in two weeks, part 3, will be devoted to grieving during holidays)Memories of deceased loved one, feeling emotional and physical pain due to loss and feelinglonely, and expectations of how a person is “supposed” to be.

9. Media and social media may pressure you to be or feel a certain way or make you feel that most of the world is gleeful and holidays perfect.

Being proactive can be helpful in preventing or diminishing stress, depression,and anxiety. Here are some suggestions.

1. Be mindful of how you are feeling and how you felt during previous years. Acknowledge those feelings and, if needed, seek additional support. You may feel lonely, angry, jealous, agitated, overexcited, restless, and hyper, to name a few. There are no wrong feelings, but if you are having difficulty coping, please seek support. Learn to recognize holiday triggers and either try to avoid them or be mindful of them.

If a loved one has died and holidays are particularly difficult, please know this is normal.You may find it more challenging to be around people at this time, or desire to be around people at this time or vacillate between the two. There is no right or wrong way to feel. Talking to a grief counselor or joining a bereavement group can be helpful. 

If you find that you feel depressed for several months the same time every year, you may have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD.) There are several treatments for this disorder,such as light therapy, medication, and psychotherapy, and these treatments can begin before onset. (Next week’s blog, Part 2, will be about SAD.)

2. Reach out to friends, family, mental and medical professionals, and religious professionals. Social and online communities can be helpful, and many have counseling, support groups, and virtual events. You can reach out by phone, text, messaging, and group chat. Organize a zoom party if you are feeling isolated to connect to friends. Volunteering time and helping others may help you feel connected, and you may make new friends as well as feel good about helping others.

3. If you must attend dysfunctional family events, try to set realistic expectations, and create safe emotional and physical boundaries, which may include only coming for a short time.Be flexible. The more you need to control, the more stressful it will be. Remember, you cannot control others; you can control how you see them and cope. Try not to take anything personally, don’t share sensitive matters unless you must, step away occasionally or completely to avoid being a victim of abuse, and avoid confrontation and becoming impulsive and saying something you will later regret.

4. If you are feeling stressed from financial pressures, figure out what you can and cannot spend and stay within budget. You can pick and choose what events you attend. You can make homemade gifts or donate to a charity in someone’s name, as example.

5. Plan to feel less overwhelmed. Have realistic expectations. If you are entertaining in your home, delegate and accept help from others. Try to release the control and allow others to help.

6. Do not go to events or do things you do not want to unless necessary. You may be left angry, resentful, and stressed.

7. Try to eat healthily, sleep well, exercise, journal, and meditate. These are some things you can do to reduce stress. Some people can “reboot” after sitting in a room alone for 20 minutes or taking a walk. Know what helps you and do it. Do not self-medicate with drugs and alcohol. Do get professional help if needed. See a psychiatrist for psych evaluation for the possibility of medication. Take time for yourself. Selfcare is subjective. Find out what makes you happy and feel good about yourself. Get a message, take walks, listen to music... whatever makes you feel good. Selfcare is subjective. Try new things and discover what makes you feel good.

8. Be mindful and focus on the present.

9. If you are spending the holidays alone due to COVID, illness, death, isolation, or your choice, or you do not have any place you go; you can try to think differently to help you feel better. Reframe how you see things. Turn burnt cookies into a funny holiday memory as an example.

If you still have difficulties coping then I recommend you reach out to a mental health professional, medical professional, religious professional, good friend, family, or online community if you need additional support to cope. Seek support if you feel suicidal, have physical issues, can’t sleep, or sleep too much, are sad, anxious, hopeless.

Resources:

1. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: (24/7) 1-800-273-8255 or 988. You can call or text 988.

2. National De Prevencion Del Suicidio: (24/7) 1-888-628-9454

3. Crisis Text Line: Mental Health America: (24/7) Text MHA 741-741.

4. (Type namilexington.org ) NAMI has an excellent guild to help someone with Bipolar Disorder cope during holidays.

DISCLAIMER:

The contents of this website; blog, video, articles, media, book, and references, are ONLY for informational and entertainment purposes. It is NOT intended as a psychological service, diagnostic tool, medical treatment, personal advice, counseling, or determination of risk and should not be used as a substitute for treatment by psychological or medical services.

Please seek consultation by an appropriate healthcare provider. 

Call 911 if there is an emergency. 

Call or text 988, which is the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline,

Call National Suicidal Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 to talk to someone 24/7 if needed. Call National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 to talk to someone 24/7 if needed. 

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